Sex, Drugs and the Presidency
Now that the dust has settled and election madness is over there are a few things that are clear…The day after the election is very much like living in a world where the Super Bowl, the entire ‘Bachelorette’ season and the final ‘Twilight’ movie takes place as one single event in the same venue. Half the people are happy, half are sad and the crazy ones go straight to Facebook and begin to post that the world is going to end IMMEDIATELY and we made such a bad choice.
Let’s face it though, the only way someone was going to beat a middle of the road incumbent who is the nation’s first African American President needed to be a superior candidate(Hillary) and from a different party; carry charisma by the boat load and are able to inspire middle America(Christie). The republicans just didn’t have “IT” this time, and “IT” is what you needed to remove this incumbent. If you find yourself disagreeing, don’t worry, you are probably a white republican and life could be worse.
What the Republican party needed was someone who could get the Latino vote, the African American vote, the vote of the people in Ohio that think a republican tried to stop them from getting money and jobs. However it WAS possible and it is not exactly like the Republicans brought a knife to a gun fight, but it is more like: they brought a stuffy white guy to participate in the dance competitions from ‘Step-Up’ 1, 2 or 3. His foxtrot would be very formidable but not quite enough to get him first prize in such an ethnic crowd.
The presidency is a funny thing though, it is one amazingly powerful position but when you compare it to other high profile jobs throughout the course of time; it is really not that great of a job. The retirement package is nice, but the actual job is like doing a tap dance routine at the Apollo, you better be damn good because it is a tough crowd.
Imagine having responsibilities where every decision you made was actually hated by minimum 35%, add another 12-20% simply disapproving of your performance and this is at all times mind you. Your coworkers hate you, but fall over themselves to get a picture shaking your hand and they publicly bash you whenever the opportunity presents itself. That doesn’t even take into account the stress of national security reports, trying to be a father and the occasional miscellaneous cover-up.
Beyond all that, it’s a good job, a great job in fact. But the best high profile job of all time? Not even close.
Through an extremely scientific survey conducted throughout the course of my life it is clear to me the best high profile job of all time is without question: 80’s Rock Star. These creatures were a rare breed: Metallica, Montle Crue, Aerosmith, Queen, AC/DC. Yes they were artists, but once on stage they were expected to put on a show, and they did. Drunken debauchery, relentless drum solos, homoerotic clothing/hair and a lead singer who barely could speak his own name by show time. The beauty of it all is that, no matter what happened, the masses would scream and shout for more. They would burn bras, wait for days, strip their clothing off and sell their soul just for a moment in time with these people; and that would be considered a slow Monday night. It was a unique profession in a unique time.
These groups were all as strange as Japanese pornography and as beloved as grandmother that makes pie and tailors your jeans. They could and were expected to inhale sex and drugs like Republicans inhaling propaganda straight from Karl Rove. Never was there a road manager or hotel room that could tame this beast, they were wild, and they were expected to be.
But what is so different than from today? No internet, no YouTube, no blogs, no twitter. No instantaneous viral videos that can ruin a career, which not only allows for a higher level of privacy and secrecy but it allows for much worst stage performance. No matter how bad you were the only way the masses are going to hear about it is through a newspaper or Rolling Stone. I don’t even remember how to read one of those. Compound no internet with an exponentially less to no worry of AIDS and then add the pay involved. I would say those are the primary ingredients for one spectacular job with low responsibilities and ever lower performance expectations. But this is ancient history now; we have the occasional Charlie Sheen to live vicariously through but the animal I speak of, has long since pasted. It is still fun to reminisce…